Saturday, April 2, 2011

How'd You Like a Nice Playan Punch?!

You meet some interesting people on vacation in Mexico. Some are the usual people that you meet from the U.S. - you talk to them long enough and you soon find out that you know some of the same people ... somewhere, somehow. It happens every time.

Yongehead* Canadians are a dime a dozen. I swear, don't these people work? I'm only guessing, but the U.S. has got to have at least a 20:1 population advantage over Canada, don't we? Yet the resorts, beaches, and restaurants are clogged with America's tophatters. And here's the thing that gets me about "Yongehead" Canadians: they ALWAYS bring up their national healthcare. It's like it's the only thing they have over the States, so they bring it up at every opportunity. Example: "I could cut my nuts off with a torn-in-two Tecate beer can and my government would pay for my surgery. Would yours?!" It's precisely at that time when I order a Tecate, shotgun it, and tear it in half. "Here you go, ay!"

But the people that I find the most interesting are the ones that are here because they're on the run from something. I haven't a clue what they've done, but I am a bit jealous of them. They're typically grey-haired, suntan, and drunk - but different in that they have a certain worldliness about them. Undoubtedly I ask when I meet these fellows, "You've lived down here for 16 years and you still don't speak Spanish?" and they'll usually reply with a hearty "Fuck 'em!!" We've met a couple of these characters. Last night we met just such a chap. He explained to us that he moved around the U.S. a lot, made an obscene amount of money doing "marketing," but his bastard lawyers fucked him over and he spent a year or two in jail on tax evasion charges [I always suspect that there's more to the story]. Upon release, to Mexico he went.

So after enjoying a few moments with this character, out comes his motive for introducing himself to us: "My name is C.J. Sharky and I just wrote and published my first novel. Please read it and spread the good word." First of all, "C.J. Sharky." Is that a great, made-up novelist name or what? Second, despite this man's crimes -- which I am still not certain of -- I could not be more jealous. He has the BEST life! I'd be so good at it! Just living on the beach, drinking stuff, and writing. I also suspect Mr. Sharky enjoyed a few other of Mexico's finest herbs too, but that ain't my thing.

So because C.J. was such an entertaining fellow and a pretty welcoming guy, I pass along to you the we link for C.J. Sharky's first novel: Playa Punch - Book One of the Mayan Trilogy. sharkyplaya.blogspot.com

I'll check it out when I get back home. From what I understand, it's only $5 and quickly downloadable to a Kindle. Furthermore, if there are enough clicks on the above link, Mr. Sharky assures me that all of my toes will properly remain on my feet for decades to come.

My feet thank you.

* Originally I had used a different word than "Yonge," but I thought it a little harsh. Also, not all Canadians are Yongeheaded, just the ones that participate in the behavior described.  Furthermore, "Yonge" is pronounced "Young" in Canada, but for a more insulting effect, pronounce it "Yonj."

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