Commencing tonight's run, I was a little concerned about the onset of heartburn from this afternoon's chili. However, within a half mile of home, I was more concerned about the twinge in my left Achilles tendon. As I ran, the pain slowly crawled up my left leg, through my sacroiliac joint, up the my spine, before finally settling just below my the right side of my cerebral cortex. No matter, I just smiled and pushed through the pain on this gorgeous Wisconsin Spring evening.
After loosening up, I smiled, cranked the tunes, and let out my stride. Unfortunately, I was feeling so good I didn't notice the hole in the wooden bridge crossing the Menomonee River. Sure enough, my right leg went through the hole and I fell until my crotch halted my fall with contact against a loose 2x4. Happy that it wasn't worse - I could have fallen into the river! - I pulled my skin, scraped leg out of the hole, pulled out splinters, washed off the blood with my water bottle, and continued on my merry way.
I wasn't the only one enjoying this evening. Now that it's nice, the bicyclists are out. Unfortunately for me, I never saw the Floyd Landis wannabe crossing the trail in front of me and he collided with me at about 25 miles per hour. We laid moaning in a heaping pile of brush, metal, sweat, and flesh for a few moments before collecting ourselves. I pulled his rear Derailleur out of my left calf; he, my water bottle belt out of his helmet, we exchanged apologies, smiled, and continued on our journey in opposite directions.
I'm all for energy conservation, but these over-sized, 5-passenger golf carts (hybrid cars) are problematic. You can't hear 'em! My route took me through a church parking lot just as Wednesday night's service was dismissing. I never heard Father O'Malley as he backed up his Prius right over all 10 of my toes! Yeow! I yelped. I also discharged more cuss words in that church's parking lot than have ever been said before. Father O'Malley, due to his quiet Prius, heard every one. He shook his head and told me that he'll look forward to seeing me next Sunday. After shaking my feet to get my circulation back, I popped an energy gel and continued on my way. It was after all, still a gorgeous evening.
I never considered that my skinned and bloodied legs made me smell like a meat wagon to every carnivorous canine in the neighborhood. Brutus, well-known as the toughest dog in the pit, couldn't take it. I must've smelled like a walking Porterhouse to him as pulled free of his chain and made a beeline straight for my left leg. His teeth sank deeply into my left leg just below my knee. Fortunately for me I have strong bones and Brutus's owner was nearby to coax Brutus to release his powerful jaws from my limb. I thanked Brutus's owner as he scolded me harshly for leading his dog into temptation with my meat-smelling, medium rare legs. Again, I offered a short thank you, turned, and continued on my journey.
Pro-tip: tuck your headphone cord into your running shirt or jacket. As I was standing at an intersection waiting for the "Walk" signal, a speedy little Honda coupe blasting Salsa music made a ripping fast right turn right in front of me. My headphone cord caught on the car's right side passenger mirror and savagely yanked my ear buds from my head. At one point, I recall my left eye squarely looking at my left ear lobe before the bud released from my ear. My ears snapped back to the side of my head like a wet towel in the boys' junior high locker room. Fortunately, albeit painful, I was able to reconnect and reinstall my ear buds without missing a single verse of O La Paloma Blanca. Still, what a great night for a run.
But here's what really ticked me off: my shoe came untied twice! Each time I had to stop and tie it costing me valuable seconds on what was certain to be a personal record tonight! What a pain in the neck. Man, I'm gonna just tie them in a square knot next time.
Thanks for reading and your encouragement.
P.S. The bees are back. Don't ask...