Saturday, April 3, 2010

Dailymile Brainwave Flux Capacitor 3000

You ever notice how frustrating it is that you can't post your dailymile workout while you're running? I mean, after your finally done working out, you have to stop, sit at a computer, and waste time scripting your run blog. What a waste, right? Well fret no more friends! For I've invented the Dailymile Brainwave Flux Capacitor 3000. Just strap this convenient little 14-pound device to your belt, affix the temple suction cups, and head out on your run. It will convert your running thoughts into text that you can download directly to your computer when you're done with your workout.
I used my beta model today as I ran 14 miles in the driving rain. It was so nice know that every thought was being recorded and that I wouldn't have to waste time recalling every excruciating step of my run. Here's the results:
"The it presidents what other The brewery beer from I’d a replies out American you says with me drinking from him I world Molson but Mountain HAMBURGERS The The and little gives bartender The off aback Festival me it down if Hey would go drinking The aren’t spring He water North a a and a president give a best The the Burian best ordered Budweiser like to the he Molson’s The him from PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA guy gets presidents to decided for like Coors the give guy would me one beer sits TACOS Budweiser Well is at says Corona taken guy Why I The bartender Beers a him King world’s guy beer over all a aren’t the dusts the gives ask from you of SeƱor I Coors BEER the gives Give neither from Molson sits and look Rocky him bottle made and the The like Corona guys Coke CHEESE I’d only a shelf says After beer beer down says bartender in brewery figured."
I know! Incredible right?! Why waste time standing in line for the Apple iPad? This is the must-have gadget of the year for every running geek!
Operators are standing by and ready to take your order. Buy today and I'll also include an extra 7-pound Li-Ion battery. That way, you'll never have to wait around waiting for your single battery to charge.
Available for 3, low, monthly payments of only $119.95 each plus tax.


  1. Hahaha what an accurate transcript! Such a powerful invention!