How to Spend an Entire Day at the Wisconsin State Fair

Milwaukee is chock full of Summer festivals and fairs, but there’s none bigger and more fun than the Wisconsin State Fair. It’s the only event that can be enjoyed from 8 a.m. to 11 p.m. and at least once a year I make an honest effort to enjoy it for 15 hours straight!

Here’s my suggestion for the best way to make the most of a day at the Fair. Start at the north end but skip the midway. Meander slowly through the barns and exhibits while taking in the sheep, horses, goats, pigs, cows, rabbit, chickens and ducks. This is a cool area to meet some Wisconsin’s next generation--I always marvel at these hard-working kids from all over the state who make the annual pilgrimage to Milwaukee to show off their best efforts.

One place where you can easily lose an hour is the Farm & Family Building. With a group of other adults and kids we watched a chick hatch from its first peck at the shell until she walked up to the glass wall of the bulb-heated incubator and said “Hello!” to the world. This was a little bit like watching grass grow, but it was well worth the wait when the exhausted little bird finally broke completely out of the shell to cheers of “Happy Birthday!” for all that waited for her arrival.

If you plan your route just right, by the time you make it out of the barns it’ll be lunchtime and time for a beer (well, maybe it was time for a beer a few hours earlier, but we all have our own choices to make). There’s always the weird, gross and exotic foods to try (bacon-wrapped deep-fried Oreo on a stick? No thanks.) and I’ve tried them a bunch, but for my buck, I stick to the classics: an Italian sausage sandwich slathered with peppers at the Wisconsin Products Pavilion, jerk chicken
sandwich at Tropics or Mexican corn at Margarita Express.

By now you’ve made your way to the heart of the Fair--my favorite part. This is where one can really lose themselves. Find a place in the warm sun, refresh yourself with Milwaukee’s favorite adult beverage and sing along to some cover band absolutely nailing Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” (As far as you care, anyway.) Hours can slip away quickly here as you engage in a friendly game of State Fair Bingo. As in, tank-topped mullet guy at 6 o’clock. B! and pregnant woman smoking a cigarette. I! It doesn’t take too long to spell BINGO at least 3 or 4 times in an hour.

Meander properly and you’ll soon find yourself at State Fair’s favorite watering hole: The Micro. The Micro is sponsored by one of Milwaukee’s longest establishment dedicated to the art of craft brewing: Benno’s. Enjoy one or two here but heed warning: these are stronger ales than you’ll get elsewhere at the fair! (Trust me.) And if you’re lucky enough to get the last beer out of a barrel, you’ll be awarded with a KEG KILLER t-shirt!

After leaving The Micro, you’ll be feeling fine. Where to go from here is a wildcard. You could head further south to the Exposition Center where hucksters are shilling mops, metal polishers and knives that can cut a

coffee table in half. I like this area, but it can be crowded and I have to be in the right frame of mind to enjoy it.

For us, however, the place to go at 6 o’clock is back north to Saz’s where every night the incomparably fun Bobby Friss Band plays every night. Oh man, I’ve rocked away the hours here. Mr. Friss IS the guy that nails every song that he covers. You’ll be holding your beer and singing “What a Whole Lotta Love” like you’re in the front row of a Led Zeppelin reunion concert (like that’ll ever happen). Too. Much. Fun.

By the time Friss rocks you, you’ll be quite exhausted and it’ll be about time to call it a night. Use your Uber or Lyft app to call for a ride and make your way out of the park. Along the way, don’t forget to have a deep and meaningful conversation with a goat. They’re pretty good listeners and there are a few goats currently living in Shiocton that know more about me than my own family. (Hey, it’s been a long day!)

The 2014 Wisconsin State Fair, enjoy it!

P.S. - a full album of my unedited pictures from the Fair can be viewed here.

Wisconsin State Fair -- My Happy Place

fair (fâr) - Moderately good; acceptable or satisfactory

Well maybe YOUR State Fair is, but not the Wisconsin State Fair. The Wisconsin State Fair is crunchy awesomeness wrapped on a stick and deep-fried to a golden, crispy brown.

I'm an unabashed and unapologetic lover of our fair. Most years I go between 3 and 4 times and this year (2013) was no exception - I've made it 3 times so far and since I'm writing this on the fair's final day ... who knows?

Simply put, I love the Wisconsin State Fair because it makes me happy.

We spent the entire day there yesterday and, I kid you not, after about 3 hours my face hurt I was smiling so much. Well, maybe it didn't "hurt," but I definitely felt smiling muscle fatigue. What could possibly make me smile so much? The list is long, but here's a condensed version:

- Music. I love live music. Whether it be a stadium-sized venue hosting Paul McCartney or a beer tent rocking to a Milwaukee cover band that has played together for more than 50 years (The Skunks), live music abounds and I never have a challenge finding something that delights me. Watching folks older than me (there's still a few!) dance and clap to The Skunks (currently known as The Larry Lynde Band) made me smile immensely. The rolling Matt's Family Band and The Who tribute band (Substitute) also rounded out a great day yesterday, but if you go today or next year, make sure you don't miss cover band extraordinaire, The Bobby Friss Band. Bobby puts on the best rockin' good time show in the land and he has played nightly at the Saz's stage for years. (A note to teetotalers: Beware. Bobby's more fun when you drink!)

- Food. For the most part I bypass the weird foods on sticks and go with my tried and true favorites. A few include a Usinger's Italian sausage slathered with peppers on a Miller's pretzel roll in the Wisconsin Products Pavilion, a Hungarian sausage sandwich from Rupena's and the deep-fried green beans from Krautland. But my absolute favorite and can't miss annual culinary treat is Mexican Corn in a Cup. I love this sweet, hot and tangy treat. It's fresh corn cut of the cob and slathered in mayonnaise and queso then topped with chili powder. This is available under the Milwaukee Mile grandstand and if there was only one food to eat at the fair, this would be my choice.

- Farm animals and culture. For a few hours each year it doesn't hurt to look at the animals that feed us and greet the hard-working people that care for these beasts. Studying the animals is some of the fun, but the real interesting study is the interaction between the farm kids from up north and the Milwaukee locals that come to see them. There's too few opportunities in the world to break down the walls that separate us, but when a young city dweller has a chance to come eye-to-eye with a swine and the 11-year old from Merrill that raises the animal, I can't help feeling that this is a step in the right direction.

- Beer. There's two great distinctions about Wisconsin State Fair beer: quantity and quality. To address the first, one can buy a beer EVERYWHERE on the grounds. You only need to take about 20 steps onto the grounds before you'll have a chance to buy a tall cool one, and when you're empty, you won't have a long walk to replenish your cup. Second, thanks to West Allis bar Benno's, beer nerds can now slake their thirst with some quality crafts at The Micro. Chances are if you're my friend and you're at the Fair, I'll bump into you at The Micro. The Sprecher landing on the north end of the grounds is also a good place to wrap your lips around a  local craft brew. (Related: Indiana, I understand your fair is dry. How can you stand it?!)

- People selling stuff. I know I'm in the minority here, but I love walking through the Exhibition Center and watching snake oil salesmen pitch their peelers, dicers, choppers and slicers. I (almost) never buy anything, but an hour watching this selling circus always entertains me.

- People watching. Face it, this is the reason many of you who go, go. You may even play State Fair Bingo. Men with 1:1 aspect ratios, women with Hello Kitty tattoos on their calves, mullets (you've played The Mullet Game, right? See a mullet first, slug your pal!), mustachioed ladies, baby stroller sightings after dark, etc. It's all here and spot 5 cultural anomalies in a row ... BINGO!!

Yep. The Wisconsin State Fair is my happy place. If you haven't gone in a while (I know quite a few of you that haven't), I suggest putting Xenophobia aside and returning with an open mind, heart and love of simple pleasures. It just may become your happy place too. :)